Sorry that this post is not about tracking down autographs, but about me and my boring life.
I am not someone who worships Wil Wheaton as the nerd God that shall lead us all, but I always liked Wil. I liked him in Stand By Me, and I liked Wesley on TNG (and Wil is slightly older than I am so I never minded Wes being ‘the smart ass kid’ on the bridge) and when I discovered his writing, I liked that he was someone who had the courage to talk about his personal issues. I remember seeing him at my first San Diego Comic Con in 2001 and being intimidated about going to talk to him, and years later I read about how he had a miserable time because he didn’t get a lot of traffic in the autograph area. Earlier today, I saw a link to his site where he wrote about doing a soft reboot of his life.
You might not know this, but I also have been depressed my entire life. I also have OCD. Not ‘have to tap every light switch twice before bed’ OCD, but when I was younger (and until I was in my mid-twenties) it manifested in constant hand washing and showering. My mother was clueless about how to help with it, and so it just continued until I was done with college. I would wash my hands raw. I showered three times a day. Now it manifests in obsessions. Checking my checking account balance constantly or finding something to collect, like Nintendo Amiibo or Funko Pop figures or Tyler Stout Mondo prints. It stresses me out not to do it but it also depresses me and stresses me out after I do it. After I buy ten Funko figures and realize I don’t even like the characters (seriously, Thunderbolts Punisher? Daryl Dixon? Ugh) I feel depressed and then obsess about the money I spent. It’s a cycle, it sucks, and it depresses the hell out of me.
So I am also going to do a soft reboot of my life.
Why am I putting it out in public for all to see? (Well, two people read this thing and I’m not even sure both of you guys read every post.) If I am going to be honest about it -- and why do it if I am not going to be honest about it? -- then I need to be held accountable. So I am starting with five items and I will take a look at how these things have gone after 90 days. Starting on 10/26/15, reevaluate on 1/26/16, and see about making more changes.
- Finally get serious about weight loss. That means getting more active and sticking to Weight Watchers. I did lose 50 pounds a few years ago and gained 30 of them back when I was laid off due to self loathing. I started this blog a year ago to track my progress getting back down, and I am basically in the same spot that I was then because I get depressed/stressed/angry/etc and eat the feelings away. Even more depressing than being fat is being such a cliche, so I am getting serious. I have created minor benchmarks for myself - down 15 by the time I see Joanna Newsom in December, down 20 more by the time I see David Tennant in April, and down 15 more by the time I go on vacation in July - and I will reach them.
- Decaffeinate myself. This will be the hardest. You know how people say they started smoking at 13 and finally try to give it up when they are 45 and it’s the worst thing they have ever done? I have been a soda drinker since I was even younger. It has ruined my teeth. It gave me terrible acne when I was in high school. It gives me terrible headaches when I don’t drink it. It’s expensive, and I am an addict. Hell, I drank two while typing this blog entry and I will drink another one as soon as I am done. I want to give it up completely.
- No more collections. This doesn’t mean I have to give up my hobbies, but it means that I am not starting any more collections. No discovering something new, like I did last November with Amiibo or in July with Funko Pops, and devoting time and energy into it. I am going to still spend time on the things I especially love doing like collecting autographs (and my main focus there is and has been Doctor Who) but nothing new. This will legitimately help because if there is something I want to obsess about and collect, I simply can’t do it.
- No more charge cards. Money is my number one stress issue. So no more charging. Tying into this one, early next year I want to create a legit and realistic budget (for example, Wizard World Madison for David Tennant and Comic Con in San Diego being my only conventions for the year). I have taken all the cards other than the emergency card out of my wallet and will not make any more online purchases unless I can pay cash/debit.
- Read more often. In college, I read constantly. I read for fun, but I also read non-stop because I was an English lit major. After I left college, my reading dropped way down. In part this was because a) I was burned out and b) it’s hard not to get annoyed when you are trained to analyze the hell out of everything. Reading for fun is a lot less fun when you need to break things down and interpret them, which is what being a lit major teaches you to do. I found myself either reading the classics or things which defy interpretation. I am going to read at least 20 minutes a day, for fun. A comic or a chapter of a novel, not a forum thread about Funko Pop exclusives.
